Any more than an irrational culmination....

Whenever someone writes something, freewrites, like I do here, it follows an untrace-able flow of concepts, which I cannot recreate.

I can come close to replicating what I had, at the very least. However, old ideas I had have vanished, and new one's take their place.... Either way, Dear Reader, for you, it is the first time you'll read it, even though this is version 2. Oh well.

...


Needless to say, I don't know what's happening. Life is a rediculous swirl of incidents so brilliant, that it flirts with nonsense; and like most flirts, it's never clear of its intentions. But that's life. Se la ve.

Or however your spell it.

But anyway, it makes me ponder. But even pondering makes little sense, because the one thing I've found, is that it makes no difference what I think... Thinking too much is a real danger, as unachieving as blatant ignorance, I need to put the glass down, it isn't as though holding it changed what it was anymore than letting it be.... But that's life, that's Bebop style, que sera, sera. Whatever happens, happens. I used to think that what was wrong with the world was that no one did anything about it.... But now I realize that it's not in anyone's control, least of all, our's. It's just so hard to ignore this damn sense of global obligation... The fact is, peace cannot exist, and neither should it; there are so many different people with so many differences, that there will always be conflict, disagreement, war... just like there will always be love, and passion, and beauty, and peace. One cannot overwhelm and monopolize the world, that's just how things work.

It makes me wonder, then, what reason I have to become an international figure; ambassador's are the hailors of peace, after all. I personally find that a great deal of the problems in the world are petty... Things that just don't matter, which people need to turn their focus from. There are far more important issues to disagree about, why must they squabble over prices and money and borders and nonsense.... I wish I could just, you know, not care about the world, attent to my fellow bretheren.... be simple. I would love, so bad, to just become... a farmer, somewhere, able to just make love to my wife, and teach my children. It wouldn't be easy, but it would be simple. That's what I want. That's what we were meant to live for, those simple things, you know... to enjoy life. There's a huge difference between 'desire' and 'lust', there is no sin is pleasure.

Whatever we do, by just being, we glorify God. We sin, we glorify Him. Point being, He intended Adam to make love to Eve, and teach their children, and enjoy that world which was just as equally designed by God as they were. To ignore it, to forget how beautiful things are, to deny their desires which were naturally good things would be sinning... One cannot forget that. This world is no longer an Eden, but we are still humans. Remember, God invented pleasure, after all.

(By the way, when I say 'making love', I mean much more than sex, though there's plenty of that there... ; - ) …. I mean, the perfect union of a man and a woman when living, eating, walking, just being.... the seamless

lovebound caress of the masculine and the feminine... You know, in love...)

Before we can escape, we must weave our wings, and sow them on....

...

Class schedual, Spring Semester:

Monday:
8:30- Geological Concerns
9:30- Survey of French Cinema
10:30- Philosophy of Psychology

Tuesday:
9:00- Political Theory and Analysis
10:30- Political Global Economic Relations

Wednesday:
8:30- Geological Concerns

9:30- Survey of French Cinema

10:30- Philosophy of Psychology
11:30- Organized Crime

Thursday:
9:00- Political Theory and Analysis

10:30- Political Global Economic Relations

Friday:
8:30- Geological Concerns
9:30- Survey of French Cinema
10:30- Philosophy of Psychology

11:30- Organized Crime

I have entirely morning classes, because all I do in the morning is sleep, anyway. This leaves my evenings open for work, parties, dates –you know, an all-around night life. Meaning... Well, I guess I have to wake. Which will be difficult... But hey, an excuse to use my coffee maker, now. I work at a warehouse, paid 11.50 an hour, hauling 85-pound boxes onto a forklift, then around on a forklift. It’s nothing, but a means to an end. Just a temporary in-between… That’s who works there. Old men, who live for huntin’, and that’s it, and in-betweens, failed in whatever they used to do, and trying to just make it until they can move on to whatever else they want to do. Oh, and a lot of perverts in the worst way, but more on that later. I’m there for the money.

Material for those wings.

Haeman's Belmar, part III will be in the next post... it WAS written, but after rewritting all that, I didn't feel like writing it... otherwise, you wouldn't see this post for a very long time. So... Next Issue: Haemon's Belmar, part III!

Pause.

I'm sorry. I typed a very huge message, as well as Haeman's Belmar part III... and this idiot computer closed the screen, and all that work died.... It was a good hours worth of writing, at least....



So, I'll post a bit later, when I'm not so damn frustrated, and can remember what it was about.

Hbg.

Well, anyway. That's life. I'll try a whole lot to avoid this whining melodrama over my 'lost love' and all that....




So, moving on.... What's next?



A Car. I defiintely need a car.



I'd like to have more to say now, but the fact is, I have so much to say, that I just can't say it now. So... without further ado, I'm going to not say anything.



Next Issue: Haemon's Belmar, part III.